Morning Meditation Sit — The Wrestling Mind
Dear Friends,
Our journey with Jacob continues.
This week we read that in preparation for meeting his brother
Jacob wrestled through the night.
He wrestled with his words and actions.
He wrestled with who he had been
And who he might become.
He wrestled until he was able to tell the truth
And say: I am Jacob,
Vulnerable and afraid.
I have spent my life grasping.
I need a blessing, I need help to go on.
In honor of Jacob, I feel into my own wrestling,
My wrestling with what I have and have not done,
My wrestling with fears, hopes, vulnerabilities and regrets.
There are times I cannot get the mind to stop this struggle.
What if I could let the vulnerability and fear be,
And not try to wrestle it away?
What if I could ease some of the grasping for control?
The risk feels great,
Though it is not really clear to me what I am risking.
We are in a time when many of us feel vulnerable and afraid,
When so much is swirling out of control.
When I stop trying to grasp for a different experience,
When I stop denying my own vulnerability,
I find myself being gentler with myself and others.
Kindness rises.
When Jacob finally encountered his brother and all that he feared,
He was able to say:
Seeing your face, is like seeing the face of God. Gen. 33:10
The aim, Jacob teaches,
Is not to deny our vulnerability.
Vulnerability is the truth and the blessing.
Vulnerability opens the path to presence and courage.
I pray for a courageous softening that allows me to stand vulnerable and willing.
And I pray to remember that this place, this experience, is, Peni’el, the Presence of God. Gen. 32:31
Listen to the guided Meditation Sit dedicated to this teaching in the player below.
Blessings to all,
— Rabbi Yael Levy
14 Kislev 5780
The live Jewish Mindfulness Meditation Sit with Rabbi Yael Levy takes place Thursday mornings 8-8:30 AM EST.